Tick Tock

Time carries on, and so do our lives. I completed my third year at Central Michigan University and learned a lot, but the learning never ends. I am now living in Nashville, TN for the summer and am pursuing research as a member of Vanderbilt University's Institute of Chemical Biology Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU). Sounds fancy, huh? I have completed two weeks of the program so far and am looking positively ahead at the remaining eight weeks.

Ultimately, I am one of five students in the program and my research is in a synthetic organic chemistry research lab and let me just say it was very intense in the beginning! I am happy to share that without my research experience at CMU, I would have been feeling incredibly tiny and overwhelmed upon my arrival at the new lab. However, I gained a lot of skills at CMU and actually felt very prepared in the lab here. I am grateful for this new experience and will learn a lot of organic chemistry this summer.

I drove all the way from Michigan to Nashville in one day, and I did it alone. When I arrived in Nashville I gasped at the sight before my eyes. I had visited Vanderbilt before (last November), but actually driving here by myself and figuring out where to go and the sight of all the big buildings really just reminded me that I was in for a whole new experience, I was no longer in the comfort of either of my hometowns (Mt. Pleasant and SW Michigan). I don't know how others felt, particularly CMU McNair Scholars who did REU programs before me, but I honestly felt awed, amazed, overwhelmed and quite anxious. It was so much change all at once. And I do not feel the most comfortable with change. However, I knew everything would be okay if I just kept going, like the clock going tick tock, tick tock. Also, I found myself a wonderful support network of loved ones from home and after two weeks I am feeling much better about the whole change thing.

Even being two weeks into the program, I have had a sneak peek at what my life could hold for five years if I decide to pursue a Ph.D. here. I am incredibly appreciative of this experience and look forward to seeing how I feel about everything at the end of summer. Even though the lab has been intense, I keep telling myself that I have a purpose for doing what I do. I will never be able to forget the reasons why I pursue such a challenging path in life, however I will continue to keep marching forward and stay positive. As one of my loved ones has told me time and time again, "Only you can make yourself happy." While there are several factors that help me be happy, it truly is up to myself to be happy. I have come to realize that I shouldn't worry as much (although that is my second nature) and try to be the happiest that I can be no matter the circumstances. I cannot wait to see what the remainder of the summer holds! :-)  

Profound Learning

Although this semester was challenging in many ways, I feel like I conquered it and learned more than was possible. I am incredibly happy with biochemistry and introduction to logic opened my mind to the world of philosophy. I also found my mind wandering during my general education classes with ideas about research. I love that I have been doing my research long enough now that I can think about how to improve it and actually understand how it works. While my McNair Scholar responsibilities have decreased dramatically throughout the semester, I will never forget how much the program has influenced my life.

One of the biggest things I discovered this semester is that there is a significant difference between learning and comprehension. While I can learn material and memorize necessary information, it is completely different to truly comprehending the material. I made this realization when I was studying for my biochemistry final exam.I noticed that we (students) tend to get caught up in every little thing in life and typically don't take the time to truly comprehend what we are learning. There is so much more than just learning "the players in the game," you need to actually know how to "play the game". I have discovered that I don't want to just learn things to take an exam, but I want to learn them in a way in which I can utilize the knowledge by applying it to my research and my life.

My happiest achievement came recently with the acceptance to the 2014 Summer REU program in Chemical Biology at Vanderbilt University!! At the end of last October I visited Vanderbilt when I participated in their Pre-VU Ph.D. Recruitment event. The labs are so great and I met Dr. Gary Sulikowski, for whom I will be working for during the summer. Vanderbilt is my top choice graduate school in chemistry and I cannot wait to have the opportunity to do research there for 10 weeks! I have realized that my dreams can become reality. Once I decided on attending CMU in 2011, I remember deciding that I wanted to stay in Mount Pleasant doing research by the second summer. During my McNair Summer I made the goal to obtain a research opportunity at another institution (preferably my top-choice graduate school). I am ecstatic to say check and check to those goals. I will never back down. I will keep striving for the stars!

Just saying that I am grateful doesn't begin to truly explain how much I appreciate the opportunities I have had since attending college. I have learned so much more than just book knowledge. I have gained so much experience in research and been exposed to other cultures. This semester I learned how to eat with chopsticks... And even ate my Thanksgiving dinner with them this year! I have so many interesting people influencing my life now and I look forward to soaking up all of the knowledge they can share with me.  

This Crazy Thing We Call Life

Last time I blogged, it was the night before my first day of school. Now, I am two weeks in... and already feeling overwhelmed. Ultimately, classes have a very different feel to them now. I find myself always relating the topics to science, and more specifically trying to relate them to my research somehow. I also find myself struggling to sit in a normal classroom lecture to learn. I am constantly craving to be back into the lab and getting my research done. However, I keep telling myself that all classes are equally important and will contribute to my overall critical thinking skills and the ability to learn. It just seems so strange to me to be wanting to be doing hands-on work rather than the classroom learning. 

As for my education, this semester I am taking biochemistry I, biochemistry lab, physics I and physics lab, intro to logic and archaeology of the Americas. I really like all of my classes and professors so far. I am not looking forward to the amount of time required for a good grade in physics, but it is all a part of the learning experience and one that I am willing to try my hardest on! I must say that biochemistry is truly fascinating!

 

My life has consisted of classes and lab so far. I truly find it so hard to get out of lab. There is so much research to be done, and I really want to learn it all. There are currently several deadlines looming ominously ahead of me. I will feel so much better when I complete them. I had one major accomplishment already, which was completing my undergraduate research paper on the synthesis of my antioxidant dendrimer. I turned it in on Tuesday, September 3rd. :-)  

As I delve deeper into my research and chemistry courses, I get more and more excited for graduate school. I eagerly await the time where I get to take courses so relevant to my interests and be wholeheartedly working on my research interests. However, I accept the challenge of maintaining my busy undergraduate classwork and my current research endeavors! And heck, while I am being so optimistic, I am even going to try to enjoy my life a little. Get to see my friends on occasion and take some time to relax when I need it. 

When I began this post tonight, I was very overwhelmed with the thoughts of everything that I still have to have done before Monday. This is also personally a very hard time of the year for me. In two days it will be the second year since the passing of my mom, and I still greatly miss her. Sometimes it would be so nice to just hear her voice or have a hug. But I know to stay strong. So, as I finish this post, I have realized that I will be okay. I will work as hard as I can and try my best and let the world unfurl its wonders to me as I work. Whatever happens, happens. :-)

One Door Closes, But So Many More Open

Tonight is officially my last night of summer "vacation". Holy cow, where did time go. About 8 hours stand between me and my first class as a junior. And it is physics. What can be better than that!!?.... ;-) So, I should probably be sleeping right now, but I have desperately missed blogging.

This summer has been absolutely incredible. Hands down. I made several new friends and began down the path of self discovery. I conquered a high ropes course, butter laden food in Kentucky, kayaking, a rigorous gym routine twice a week, yoga once a week, ran my first 5K, and the daunting Graduate Record Examination! I have realized that even though classes are starting, I want to still be able to explore these things while doing well with my coursework. I hope to find a balance, be able to enjoy my classes while running, going to yoga and the gym and even spending time with my friends. Also, I cannot forget the research! Even though I have completed my current research project, it has opened up my eyes to so much more that can be done, and I eagerly anticipate pursuing more research with my mentor.

One of the most significant experiences I had this summer was the creation of a new friendship. I consider myself so fortunate to be best friends with Andrew Derry. He has helped me through tough times and I know he is there for me through thick and thin. I am excited to be a part of his senior year at CMU. Along with Andy, Kim Whitney inspired me to go outside of my comfort zone this summer by attending the gym sessions with me. I greatly owe them both for the inspiration and confidence boost they have given me!

I have so many fond memories this summer. Like the fun car trips in Kentucky (such as going 10 miles out of the way to not go over a bridge), getting so messy at the Color Run and kayaking tandem with Andy. However, I know that there are so many more to come this year. I have so many caring friends and family and wonderful faculty mentors in my life. I look forward to the new experiences to come! Bring it on, junior year! :-)


 

It All Clicks

This week's blog post is a "free for all," and I discovered something great this evening that I would like to share with the world. :-)

As I mentioned in last week's post, I have discovered that I don't actually know myself that well. I am having such wonderful adventures and living life this summer, learning to go out of my comfort zone! It has all been fabulous, and I don't intend on stopping either. I realized that the journey to discover who I really am is not a short one, but possibly can be thought of as longer than the Lord of the Rings journey for that ring.

Around a week ago, I was posed the question, "Why science, why chemistry?" When I got that question, I was taken aback that I didn't actually have a strong answer. I just thought about how I never really thought about the possibility of anything else. And how I like science. It has always just been my niche.

                                   

However, this evening when I was contemplating "why science?..." after a long day in lab, I had an epiphany. My reasons came to the surface while talking to a friend. When I discussed my reasons for science, why I thought I had chosen to go into science, it just kinda clicked. It felt good. Like I was Cinderella finally trying on the glass slipper for Prince Charming. Here is what I uncovered:

Science was always there for me in school. I realized that science was probably my most difficult subject in school, so I had to work the hardest in this subject. I loved this aspect though! I always seemed to be able to reap the benefits of working hard in science! Putting so much energy into a subject and seeing a positive outcome, seeing myself grow and learn more in the subject always kept me going. It was this great cyclic system: input hard work ----> gain knowledge of things that interested me -----> repeat! I feel like my interests, curiosity and perseverance were all delicately woven together with elemental threads of science. In addition to all of this, I always enjoyed being able to physically see stuff happen! For the longest time I was always scared of hands-on experiments. I dreaded actually doing labs. But once I came to college, I realized that I can do it, and that I am not too shabby. Nothing excites me more than pouring two solutions together and "bam!!"... twirling out a solid at the interface of the two layers (nylon polymerization)! I just absolutely love science, and especially chemistry!

Science has just always excited me. No matter how hard it gets, or when research isn't a nice stroll through the park, I just keep going. Something in my veins sets me on fire when it comes to science. Doing research has only reinforced this. I am not quite certain, but I would like to think that I have a slight natural knack for being a scientist, which I have had since middle school. I have always received strong support in the area of science, most especially from my science teachers. Each and everyone of them have encouraged me to continue in some way, and they probably don't even know that.

This may not all seem like a very significant realization, or even like any kind of coherent idea, but to me, it all clicks. I cannot imagine going into another career or field of study, and these are the reasons that support that. To me, this means the world. (And so does chemistry.... Chemistry is my glass slipper).  <3  

                                    

Second Survey to Aid in the "All About Me" Post

Here are my responses to the "All-About-You Interview":

 

What do you know to be true…

The vagueness of this question pains me. I know many things to be true. In this case, I must say that I know I am on the right path. I am completely into what I do and know 110% for sure that I am doing what I am meant to do. 

What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in? What changed your mind?                                             

         The only thing that comes to mind is how my uncle convinced me that if I ate chicken I would grow feathers behind my ears and have a green stripe down my back… But I was very young at the time and didn’t know any better. My mother changed my mind, but it took her a while to convince me that it wasn’t true.

What do you know the most about? 

          I know the most about being a diligent student. I don’t know myself very well, but I do know my habits and what I partake in. I have been a student for the majority of my life and this has given me an outlook to have. I know that I can wake up early and work all day, as long as I am passionate about what I do. 

Why do you do what you do?                                                             

          I do what I do because I love it. No one is telling me that I have to go to school and get a degree. I am pursuing the path I have chosen because it makes me happy. I have peace of mind knowing that I will have a career that I can support myself with and a family, too. I love science and it has always been my niche. I have a natural affinity for science and it keeps me going.

One word: breakthrough. What comes to mind?                                                      

          Initially I think about someone busting through a line of trees or bushes or something. So maybe that can be used to think about how I view the word. Breakthrough makes me think of accomplishment or freedom.

What has been one of your most memorable experiences in your career?                                

           In my career as a student, one of my most memorable experiences had to be graduating valedictorian of my high school class. I have had plenty of experiences in college thus far, but being valedictorian was special in a sense that it was an achievement for my whole family. My family was not a scholastic family, and to give this honor to my last name gives my family something to cherish.

What global policy, credo, practice, or law would you like to decree?                             

            I would decree the Golden Rule, “do unto others, as others do unto you” ~ or, “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”

What experience tested your mettle but made you a better person?                             

           Struggling with my roommate and friend, Amber during my sophomore year of college. I was going through a lot of changes and wasn’t sure if I wanted to be friends with her, but I learned a lot about myself through this experience and learned that I want to be a good friend and I want to be her friend. I learned characteristics about myself that I didn’t know I had, that I am not confrontational among other things. Now that I know these things, I am working on living with them and using them as strengths.

Finish this sentence: “It’s a good day when…”                                                 

             Ultimately, it’s a good day when I am happy. But many things make me happy. It can be a good day when I spend time with a friend, or hear from a friend who I miss. It can be a good day when something awesome happens in lab, or when I connect with Dr. Lee and find out something new about her or graduate schools. 

When was the last time you thought, “Yes! That person has so got it going on!”?                    

             On the McNair Bootcamp trip to Kentucky.                

What question in your life has had the biggest impact on you?                                          

           “How do you want to feel?”

What are you positively addicted to?                                                      

           I am positively addicted to coffee… and learning new things. Whether it is scholastic or something like yoga. I love learning!

What’s the best advice you were ever given in terms of business?                                           

            Do what makes you happy.         

What’s the most common life advice that you give to your friends?                              

            I always tell my friends that everything happens for a reason. And I truly believe it.                

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word devotion?                          

             A married couple. Two people that have a loving devotion to each other.

What are you most interested in?                                                                          

           I am most interested in science.

What are you incredibly grateful for?                                                                                   

           I am incredibly grateful for having influential friends and family who have given me the self-confidence and courage to be who I am today. I am grateful for their unconditional love and support.

What’s your form of service to the world?                                                                          

            My form of service to the world is helping people. I hope to someday share something new to the world that will have a positive impact in people’s lives.

Surveys To Aid in the "All About Me" Post

Here are the answers I received from "The Ask-A-Friend Survey":

Your greatest strength is your ability to try new things even though you may feel uncertain. There is so much to experience in life, and you do not want to miss out because you are afraid.

I would describe your style of living as comfortable!

I think you should let go of worrying about pleasing other people and taking time to focus on what you want! It is your life after all!

You are at your best you are around people you are comfortable with. Also, when you are doing research – your passion is clear!

I think you should be less focused on academics and find other things you enjoy!

I have seen you really shine when you opened up at “Boot Camp” and we became friends!

I think you should celebrate your new found sense of adventure!

Technology has made my ability to share the "All-About-You Interview" rather difficult, so hopefully I will be sharing that with you all at some point. :-)